Men and Sexual Abuse

If you are a man and you have been sexually abused you are not alone.

You may have been sexually abused in childhood or sexually assaulted as an adult.

You might have been sexually abused or assaulted by another male. Most men are. However women also sexually abuse men and boys. This may be your experience.

Either way you probably have found it hard to tell people what happened. Lots of things make it hard for boys and men to speak up about sexual abuse. At this point you might not have told anybody. Many men have lived with the secret of their sexual abuse for a long time.

Men who were sexually abused in childhood may have been abused:

  • in orphanages or boys homes
  • by someone in their church such as a priest
  • by a teacher or sports coach
  • by a neighbour
  • by a father, uncle, grandfather, brother, step-father, their mother or someone else in their immediate or extended family.

If you were sexually assaulted as an adult you may have been assaulted:

  • by a partner
  • by a stranger
  • on a date
  • in prison
  • after being drugged or having your drink spiked.

The Royal Commission is making it easier for men to come forward and tell their story.

Every man is different.
Every individual experience of abuse is different.
Every man is affected by their abuse differently.
There are many ways to heal.

Despite the many differences, there can be impacts which are commonly experienced by men who have been sexually abused.

You may connect with some or all of the following:

  • Difficulties with being intimate and sexual
  • Struggles in relationships
  • Issues with trust
  • Anger and other strong emotions
  • Feeling like you are not a “real man”
  • Shame
  • Nightmares and difficulties sleeping
  • A need for control
  • Feeling on edge all the time
  • Substance abuse
  • Zoning out
  • Questioning what this means about your sexuality.

Some men want to report their abuse to the police – 000

Weblinks for men who have been sexually abused: